‘Relationship’ is sold by media as an idea where two people are eternally happy and satisfied, nothing worries them anymore and there is love and only love around them. Although this is not entirely untrue but it sure is a little bit exaggerated. Being in a relationship is not all rosy and romantic; sometimes it is tricky and exhausting. Just imagine, spending your days in and out with the same person will one day bring you to a point where you would want to do something or just anything to not see that same face, if only for a day. It is perfectly normal to feel this way, you do not have to feel guilty about it; you are only cringing for personal space. Love is an unconditional and pious emotion, when you love someone all you want is for him/her to be happy and if you can, then share this happiness with him/her. But, relationships are different; they are based on the principle of give and take. When this delicate balance between give and take is disturbed, that is when problems in a relationship start brewing up. It happens when one of the partners starts to feel that he/she is not heard enough or has to make more adjustments and compromises. That is the time when resentments comes to the surface and people start to feel disillusioned in a relationship. Some couples know how to deal with these difficult phases, they are strong enough to work through these rocky patches while there are some relationships that break up, for the pressure put upon it becomes unbearable. Whatever the end result is, fact remains the same that relationships, from time to time, go through challenges of various measures and intensities. There is not a relationship in this world that has not had its share of ups and downs; there is not anything like a smooth sailing in a relationship. But understanding, trust and emotions are enough to make a couple to go past their problems and reach a point where their faith in each other is restored and a new dimension to their relationship is added. Here in this article, we will discuss some of these challenges in relationships so that we have better idea on how to deal with them, the next time we face them in our relationships.
Problems In Relationships
Taken For Granted
The major dip happens in a relationship when one or both the partners start to take the other partner or the whole relationship for granted. This happens mainly because we start to feel secure in our relationship, knowing for a fact that our partner is not going anywhere and the relationship will be there no matter what. This sort of ‘at my disposal’ attitude leads to taking your partner’s needs lightly which will fill him/her with resentment. When things and situations become too comfortable in a relationship then you start to lose sensitivity that you initially practiced in your relationship.
In the beginning of any relationship, communication plays a big role in bringing two people close together; you call each other a lot, write long texts, spend a lot of time just chatting and getting to know each other. As we surpass that stage in our relationships, we tend to forget to ask the same questions or lose the curiosity to know about our partner. This leads to a communication gap, which is the root cause of many problems in a relationship. We stop communicating about our feelings with our partners, thinking that it might not interest them anymore and soon there comes a point that two people grow apart and they do not have an idea how it all started.
Trust & Understanding
Trust plays a big role in keeping the relationship intact against all the hurdles. It does not let the hearts get wounded. As the time passes by in a relationship, couples start to lose trust in each other’s ability to make decisions for each other. This usually happens because of the increase in number of fights between them or some other incidents that have left them feeling bitter and hurt. If there is a basic feeling of faith and understanding in a relationship, feeling in the bones that your partner loves you very much and would not let anything hurt you, then there are no obstacles in a relationship that cannot be surpassed.
This one is a killer. If you are insecure about your partner or gets jealous of every other girl/guy your partner interacts with, then it will for definite create havoc in your relationship, one day. Insecurity is usually an inherent and individualistic emotion; your partner may not have any part to play in it. But there are times when your partner does things that are beyond your understanding and it leaves you questioning his/her intentions. In this situation, you should sit down and talk to your partner, letting him/her clearly know how you feel about his/her behavior and how it makes you feel insecure. If it is not his/her fault, then work on it. You should not make your partner’s life difficult just because you get jealous easy and you have security issues.
You will not know if you are compatible or not, unless you spend a long time with each other. The initial attraction or infatuation can last for months but that does not mean that you are compatible with each other. It is when the early infatuation is withered away, that the real challenge arises. Only the couple who have got something in common and has a common outlook towards life can survive the next stage. We start as ‘lovers’ in a relationship but it has to come to a point where you can call each other ‘friends’ and can comfortably spend time with each other and share your ideas and emotions with each other. If there is absence of this friendship then the relationship will feel restricted and sometimes like a burden.
As soon as there is a dip in sex drive between a couple, the relationship goes for a spin. Does not matter if initially you could not take hands off each other and were always making love to each other, there comes a point in every relationship where sex becomes less like an excitement and more like a piece of work. The sex drive between a couple can also be affected if they are fighting a lot or holding resentments against each other. The solution is to revive your sexual relationship every time you feel like it has been affected due to some event or emotion. Try to spice things up between each other and do not stop touching each other.
It is a big deal in any relationship; if you feel like your partner is always around you, does not leave you any breathing space, then you are bound to feel suffocated in a relationship. Being a couple is not everything in life, you should not forget that your partner is also an individual and his/her growth is as important as yours.
Time & Attention
It is a fact that two people drift apart when they spend a lot of time away from each other and start to think that they do not need their partners anymore. If you do not give enough attention to the needs and wants of your partner, your partner will go outside of the relation to look for empathy and love. Showering your partner with lots of time and attention will keep the love alive in your relationship.